Ni aku curi dari blog Ako Mustafa..tentang pendapat dia pasal org yang suka mengata orang..aku setuju ngan pendapat dia ni...so aku rase nak share dengan korg...
Reflections
Thursday, Mar. 09, 2006 at 16:39
There's an old saying, "It takes one to know one." Most people use it as a defensive phrase when they are being commented on negatively by others. They just use it to defend and attack at the same time but most people, though, do not comprehend the whole truth of this statement. There's another saying that, sort of, ties in with this saying which is, "If you've got nothing nice to say, don't say anything." This is a saying that I have personally tried to adopt into my life. I'm not perfect at it, by far, but when practiced it yielded tremendous results. Life really changed, in a good way, for me when I first started putting this into practice. It forced me to notice and say all the good things in other people. I made a discovery when I did this. All people have good and bad points. Now this is not a new discovery and I'm sure everybody has heard this. I have heard it many times myself but it was certainly different to realize it for one's self. I also learnt that if I focused on all the good points of a person I would end up liking that person and that person would like me back in return. Likewise, when I focused on the bad, I and that person would have a mutual dislike for each other. I found this out when I started practicing not saying anything bad about people. This practice garnered me an abnormally large group of people who seemed so happy to see me. It felt weird at first but nice. But I still was a bit cautious. Later on, I understood it's because I actually said what is nice about that person that that person appreciated me. A point to note however is that with some people you have to look extremely hard in order to find what is good in and about them. But all people have something good in them.
There is another saying similar to, "It takes one to know one," which is, "What I see in you, I see in myself." This statement is less popular but it provided a whole new understanding of people for me. You see, we do not see reality. We see only our perception of reality. That means that two people can look at the same thing but will have a different point of view. So one person will say boulder but another will say a great spot to suntan. Whenever we come across something new that we have never encountered before, we have to take time to understand it as best as we can, at the time, and classify it somehow so that we can accept it. For instance, when we first come across something that's flat and has four legs, someone teaches us to call it a stool. We digest the information and store it somewhere in our brain. The next time we come across something that's flat and has four legs we search the database in our brain and we come up with the word stool. So, in order to understand what we see, we have to search within ourselves. This is why psychologists and philosophers say that our perception of our reality is a reflection of ourselves. We can only understand what we hear, see, smell and touch when that understanding exists within us. So the stool exists within our minds in order for us to recognize it in reality. So we understand stool but the next time we see something flat with four legs, we get corrected. It's not a stool but a table. This is new information and has to be processed by our minds. Now both the understanding of table and stool exist within us and we are able to differentiate more of reality.
So when people make judgments about someone. They are most likely talking about themselves (Now, there is a proper way to do judgments but most people don't practice it as it requires one to use their brain. As Henry Ford stated, most people don't know how to think). I remember this one time I was hanging out with a group of people when I had to leave. So I then told my friend that I have to go. He had no problem with it but someone else thought that I was showing off and being arrogant. All I said was, "I have to leave." Why was my friend ok with it while this other person was not? Basically, my friend understands what it's like to be busy whereas this other person was not. So, what this other person was saying is that if he were to do the same thing as I did which was to say, "I have to leave". He would say it in order to show off and be arrogant. This is also why I try not to say anything bad about people and things because someone might be able to see the ugliness in me. So, in turn, I try to mention only what is good because I know that what I say is also a reflection of me.
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